remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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