paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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