life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
