the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
