they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
