I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She even gives head with a lisp.
You're like the curious george of whores
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
