He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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