dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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