I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
the liver wants what the liver wants
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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