where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
