quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Come see our sink grown plant.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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