I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
