this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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