Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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