So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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