ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
