New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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