I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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