WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
