This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You ate ashes out of my bong
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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