You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize