I feel like I'm in dance class right now
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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