have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
