I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
