this beer tastes like vomit already
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
