so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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