I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
