you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
