She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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