that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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