im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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