Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
