Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
