A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
