"it" just moved
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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