kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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