we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
