This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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