I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
FUCK WHALES
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
