Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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