I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
