He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
