Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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