On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
