Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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