I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
