but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
