Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
