my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
