If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
