i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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