i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
