hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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