Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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